


last night (i woke the fuck up)

by ariavederci



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Buck and TK are Fronds, Flangst? Flangst, Fluff, M/M, Obliviot 4 Obliviot, Pining, Post-Episode: s02e03 Hold The Line, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29448435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariavederci/pseuds/ariavederci
Summary: “So. I know you have the day off on Sunday.”Groaning, Buck let his head thump lightly against the wall. TK was fucking relentless. “No, TK. I already told you, I’m not gonna let you set me up with your friend.”
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 60
Kudos: 649





	last night (i woke the fuck up)

**Author's Note:**

> I woke up this morning feeling hella in love and loving love, and thought, "hey, Buck and Eddie should be in love, too," so I word vomited this in a few hours. 
> 
> It's incredibly, _incredibly_ self-indulgent, and I'm (only slightly) very sorry. This is set post-Hold the Line, in a universe that doesn't mention Covid, and also, let's pretend all the stuff with Buck's parents happens way, way, way later.
> 
> Thank you to my girl for editing this for me. Let's just say she's not marrying me for my tense usage.

“I’m just saying, Eddie. It’s a goddamn miracle we have Valentine’s Day off, and you’re what? Gonna spend it at home watching old Friends reruns?” 

Buck closed his eyes, trying to ignore Chim’s voice. He had a pounding headache, and listening to Chim cajoling Eddie into asking out Chris’ teacher just made it worse. What was the big deal with Valentine’s Day, anyway? Some greeting card company manufactured a holiday decades ago, what the fuck ever, and now somehow, it’s supposed to be the one day people show their love for each other?

Bullshit.

Eddie shifted beside him. “I’m not taking her out on Valentine’s Day, Chim.” Eddie had the patience of a saint, honestly. Chim had been hounding him for the last ten minutes, and Eddie had stayed resolute, no matter what Chim threw at him.

“I know, I know, she might get the wrong idea, yada, yada, yada. I’m not asking you to propose, Eddie. We have the day off—take her out for coffee or go for a walk. Anything—it doesn’t have to be dinner.”

Buck didn’t even realize he was gritting his teeth until he felt the tension in his jaw. His head was killing him, and his chest felt tight, like there was brick wall stacked on top of him. 

“Okay, maybe. Why are you so invested anyway, Chim? You moonlighting as one of those matchmakers at the pier now?” Eddie said, laughing. His thigh felt warm against Buck’s, even through all the layers of fabric between them. 

“What can I say? I’m a romantic at heart. You need to get out there, Eddie, and—“

Buck shot out of his seat, trying for casual, but probably failing by a lot. His head felt like it was going to break, and he needed to get out of there. 

Eddie’s hand touched his wrist. “You okay?” Eddie asked, the laughter gone from his voice.

Forcing himself to look at Eddie, Buck nodded, mustering a grin in place. “Yeah, man, just need to get some air. My head’s killing me.”

“Want me to get you something for it?” Eddie was already starting to get up from the couch, too. 

Buck stopped him, pushing Eddie gently back on the couch by his shoulder. “It’s fine. A little fresh air’s all I need. I’ll be back.”

He walked quickly, making a beeline for the doors. He didn’t stray far—he’d still be able to hear the alarm when it rang. Taking a deep breath, Buck let his shoulders roll, his muscles grumbling in protest. He knew his traps were stiff, but he hadn’t known they were that stiff. He stayed there, slumped against the wall, as he took in the early morning sunlight filtering through the clouds. He could already feel his headache receding.

He’d been right.

He’d just needed some fresh air.

His phone rang, and Buck accepted the call, not even looking at who the caller was. He could use the distraction.

“Buck. Don’t hang up.”

Buck quirked his lips involuntarily. “You can’t open with that, TK. It just makes me want to hang up on you even more.” He couldn’t see TK rolling his eyes, but he didn’t need to. 

“Shut up, I’m doing you a solid here, okay?” TK said, sounding fond. “So. I know you have the day off on Sunday.”

Groaning, Buck let his head thump lightly against the wall. TK was fucking relentless. “No, TK. I already told you, I’m not gonna let you set me up with your friend.”

How did he even know Buck had the day off?

TK made a protesting noise. “But why not? You’re not working, and neither is he. I’m very familiar with the schedule of a first responder, okay? I don’t even know how this worked out, but this is practically kismet, buddy.”

“What if I already had plans?” Buck retorted. Not for the first time, he regretted ever texting TK after they got back to California. At the time, Buck was working through acknowledging his bisexuality, and TK was a great listener.

Now, though, TK was a fucking dog with a bone.

“Yeah, no, watching TV with Chris doesn’t count as plans.”

“I’m hanging up on you, TK,” Buck warned. Any time spent with Chris counted as plans. Chris was important, and Buck wasn’t going to give that up in place of some date.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” TK said, gentler this time. “I know you love that kid, bud. Eddie gonna be home then too?”

Buck winced, and he was glad TK couldn’t see him. “Don’t know. Chim’s been trying to convince him to ask out Chris’ teacher.”

TK didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then, finally: “Listen. I know we’re not talking about the Eddie shaped elephant in the room, and you know I’m not gonna push you. But Buck, you deserve to be happy.”

Buck wasn’t going to acknowledge whatever TK was trying to insinuate. “I am happy,” he said, almost automatically. It wasn’t exactly a lie. Buck _was_ happy. He had the 118, he had Maddie. Chris. Eddie. Maybe not in the most perfect of ways, but nothing was ever really truly perfect, anyway.

What Buck had? It was enough.

“Okay, okay. But if you change your mind, let me know? It’s not like my friend lives far. He’s just in Orange County, and lucky for you, he has even fewer things to occupy his time than you do,” TK said. “I’ll let you go. Carlos is doing the whole ‘I’m definitely not trying to rush you, but we’re gonna be late, so I’m gonna stand here tapping my foot while I increasingly look grumpy at you’ and we should probably head out before he has an aneurysm.”

Buck snorted. “If Carlos ever gets tired of you, tell him he should call me.” 

“You’re such a little bitch, Buckley. Why are we even friends again?” 

Smiling, Buck made his way back inside. “Yeah, yeah, love you too, dickface.” When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Buck stopped. “And, uh, TK? Thanks.”

“Anytime, bud.”

Buck didn’t know how they got to this friendship from TK turning down what was definitely not Buck’s attempt to ask him out, but he knew one thing for sure: Buck was grateful to have him as a friend.

***

“Feeling better?” Eddie asked when Buck sat down on the couch again.

Nodding, Buck propped up his feet on the coffee table, letting his weight fall against the back of the couch. “Yeah, much.”

“You missed it, Buckaroo,” Chim said, throwing a bottle of water at him.

Buck caught the bottle deftly, nodding his thanks at Chim. After taking a swig, he capped the bottle again before tossing it to the side. “Missed what?”

“Our friend Eddie here’s got a date today.”

For a moment, Buck felt like a strong wave had knocked him out of balance. Distantly, he knew his brain was telling him to say something—anything at this point—but it was a struggle to get out the words that felt lodged in his throat.

“Today, huh?” Buck eventually pushed out. He didn’t know if he could look at Eddie, so he trained his eyes on the long, thin crack running down the side of the coffee table. Had it always been there? The crack looked pretty big, and Buck wondered about the structural integrity of the table. The last thing he wanted was to have it shatter all over the place, in plain view of everyone.

“After shift. I mean, it’s just coffee, right? Abuela said she’d watch Chris for a couple of extra hours,” Eddie said quietly. “I still maintain Chim’s idea about Valentine’s Day is terrible, but coffee’s more lowkey, right?”

Buck nodded. “Right. Definitely.” His ears still felt waterlogged.

He tried not to think about last week, when he and Eddie went to the little cafe tucked away in between two office buildings, just a few blocks from the station. Buck wasn’t even sure why they went there, especially when the coffee at Eddie’s house wasn’t that terrible anymore now that he’d purchased the guy a new machine. Sometimes it felt like they spent all their time together, and when Buck was alone in his apartment, he’d think about how Eddie might get tired of all that togetherness. In that coffee shop, though, their knees touching under the cramped table, Eddie looking at him with soft eyes, Buck could almost pretend.

“You decide where you’re gonna take her yet?” Chim asked. “And please tell me it’s not at a Starbucks.”

“What’s wrong with a Starbucks?” Eddie asked, wrinkling his nose.

Chim launched into a filibuster about why taking a date to Starbucks was a crime, and Buck had to tamp down the urge to let out a loud, heavy sigh. He glanced at the clock across the wall from them.

 _Fuck_. Three more hours until his shift ended.

He pulled out his phone to play a round of one of his tower defence games. It was clear Eddie and Chim weren't paying attention to him, anyway. There was a new message from TK. It was a selfie of him and Carlos, a pile of takeout boxes between them laid out on a picnic blanket. 

TK looked _happy_. Both of them did.

“ _Cute,_ ” he sent back. Suddenly, Buck was even more exhausted than before. God, he was just tired. He was tired of looking and wanting and finding no one was looking back. Buck wanted someone to look at him the way Carlos looked at TK, and he wasn’t ever going to get that if he kept looking at the same place over and over.

Before he could change his mind, Buck typed another reply. “ _So. About that friend you were talking about?_ ”

***

Buck did his best to avoid being in the same room as Eddie and Chim on their next shift. At least until he was one hundred percent sure that Chim was done asking Eddie about how his date with Christopher’s teacher. He knew at some point, Eddie was going to talk to him about it, but while he was able to, Buck was going to do his damn best to avoid, avoid, avoid.

Dr. Copeland had told him he needed to do more self-care, and well, that was self-care, wasn't it?

They got back from their last call, and all Buck wanted to do was eat his weight in food and take a long nap. It was only halfway through his shift, and he was already wiped. What was it about the day before a holiday that drove people to do extra stupid things?

Between the guy buying four dozen flowers he knew he was allergic to, and the woman who set her kitchen on fire trying to roast a rutabaga for date night—which, why would anyone want to roast a rutabaga, anyway, yet alone for date night—Buck was _done_.

Bobby was still finishing up with their dinner, though, so Buck resigned himself to waiting bonelessly on the couch.

“Hey, you wanna come over tomorrow and hang out with me and Chris? We can take him to the park after lunch and make a day out of it?”

He felt the couch dip beside him. “Yeah, man, sounds good,” Buck replied before he remembered. “Oh, uh, actually, I probably won't make it til late afternoon-ish? I'm not sure, but I can bring dinner.”

“Oh, what's up?” Eddie asked, looking concerned.

“Nothing, nothing,” Buck said quickly in reassurance. “Just uh. Almost forgot I've got a thing at lunch.”

Eddie was staring at him intently, brows burrowed. “A thing?”

Buck felt pinned by Eddie’s gaze, and he had to look away. “Yeah. I, uh, I've got a date.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, it's just, you kn—“ Buck started.

“A date, Buckaroo? Where and when did you even have time to meet them?” Chim asked, Hen and him taking the couch across from Buck. He looked delighted. “Maddie know?”

“Umm, no? Does she need to know? It's not anything—it’s, I don’t know, it’s whatever, right?” Buck said. “And I haven't met them yet. TK’s the one who set it up.”

Hen made a thoughtful noise. “Texas TK?”

“Yeah, that TK,” Buck confirmed. “We've been talking. Wasn't really even sure I'd go, but TK’s relentless as fuck.”

Hen grinned. “Yeah, I remember. What's her name?”

Buck tensed. A tiny, distant part of him was screaming, ‘evasive maneuvers, evasive maneuvers!’ but this was Hen—she was his friend, they were all his friends, and the idea of lying to them purposefully about something he was discovering was a significant part of him...well. It didn't sit right. 

Didn’t he tell Dr. Copeland that he would try hiding his real feelings less? Who better to open up to about his feelings than the people he considered his family?

Taking a deep breath, he replied, “Adam. His name is Adam.”

Buck swore he could hear a pin drop with the silence that immediately followed. His heart felt like it was hammering out of his chest, and he had to bury the feeling in his gut telling him to run. “That's...that's okay, right?”

“God, of course, Buck. That's absolutely okay,” Eddie said quickly, and Buck almost wanted to cry from the sheer, utter relief he felt. 

Eddie smiled at him, but there was something about it that looked different to Buck. Before he could examine it closer, Hen crowded in beside him, pulling him close to her.

“Proud of you, Buckaroo,” she said, pressing her lips to his temple. They stayed like that for a moment, before she let him go. “Doesn’t matter who you date, as long as they’re hot.”

Buck laughed, throwing his head back, leaning against Eddie for support. “Yeah. Here, lemme show you the pictures TK sent.” He fetched his phone from his pocket, and handed it to Hen.

“Ohhh, okay, not bad at all, Buck,” Hen said, nodding her head. She passed it to Chim. “Has that whole rugged lumberjack thing going for him.”

Chim tilted his head as he looked at the pictures. “Are you sure he's vetted? How does Texas TK even know him? Do you know where he works? How old he is?” Chim handed the phone to Eddie. “Do you think we should get Athena to run his background?”

Buck groaned. “Oh my god, Chim, you freak. He's fine. If TK says he's fine, then he's probably not a serial killer at the very least.”

Eddie hummed in agreement. “I mean, Chim has a point. We don't know anything about this guy.”

Rolling his eyes, Buck took his phone away from Eddie’s hand, their fingers touching briefly. “I know that he moved here from New Jersey a couple of years ago, and that he's a couple of years older than me. I know that he works somewhere in Anaheim, and I know that he also apparently has a weird schedule and he travels a lot, so dealing with a first responder’s work schedule is probably not gonna be a deal breaker for him.” 

Eddie still didn't look convinced.

Patting him on the chest, Buck stood up, wanting to see how far along Bobby was with lunch. He was glad he was able to be honest with his friends, but he really needed to end this conversation now. “It'll be fine. I'll text you where we're going and all that, if it makes you feel better.”

Eddie pursed his lips, and looked like he was about to say something more, but instead, he nodded. “Fine. Hourly updates, Buckley, or I'm getting Athena to tail you.”

“Athena has no jurisdiction in Orange County,” Buck countered.

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Think Athena will care if I tell her it's you?”

Buck stopped in his tracks. Yeah, okay. Fair.

***

“Evan?”

Buck looked up from the menu. “Hey, Adam, right?” he said, standing to shake Adam’s hand. He would have to remember to thank TK later, because the two pictures TK had sent him of Adam? They definitely didn’t do the guy justice. “Buck’s fine.”

Adam shook his hand, taking the seat across from him. “I hope you weren’t waiting too long? I tried to rush out of work as fast as I could, but you know how traffic gets here sometimes.” He smiled at Buck. Even under the guy’s thick facial hair, Buck could easily tell how sharp his cheekbones were. It was kind of unfair.

Shaking his head, Buck returned the smile. “Totally get it, it’s fine. I had the day off today, anyway, so I got here a little early to talk a little walk by the beach.”

“Oh, good, I’d hate to give off a bad impression this early already. Jealous of your day off, though. I didn’t have to go in as long today, but a full day off sounds nice,” Adam said. He opened his menu, but his eyes were still firmly on Buck. “Oh, and it’s Buck?”

“Yeah, just a nickname. Most people call me Buck. Evan feels…weirdly formal.”

Adam nodded. “Totally get that. I can’t remember the last time the guys I work with has called me Adam.”

“Oh? What do they normally call you?” 

“Uh uh, not telling you. The guys I work with are disgusting assholes with no teeth,” Adam said, laughing. “You, though. You’re pretty cute. I’m okay with you calling me Adam.”

Buck felt himself blush. This guy? Mr Tall and Tanned with Razor Sharp Cheekbones? Calling him cute? “Okay, then, Adam. Tell me more about yourself,” Buck said, hoping he was landing on charming and confident, instead of bumbling.

***

They were finishing off the last of their tacos, when his phone rang, the caller ID letting him know it was Eddie’s landline. He gave Adam a sheepish grin. “Sorry, this won’t take long, I promise. I just gotta make sure it’s not an emergency,” Buck explained. 

The only person who called him from Eddie’s landline was Christopher or sometimes Carla in relation to Christopher. Buck didn’t want to miss the call just in case there was a problem.

“Totally fine, take your time, I’m just gonna demolish these, then,” Adam said, grinning, as he gestured towards his plate. 

Buck answered the call. “Hey buddy, everything okay?”

“Bucky? How come you didn’t come with us to the park?” Chris asked. “We saw a cat on a leash! Daddy said we couldn’t get a cat, but I told him we had to wait to talk to you first before he could say no. Are you coming to see us later?”

He couldn’t help but smile. God, he loved that kid. “A cat on a leash? Did you get to say hi? I’m sorry I didn’t come to the park with you guys, kiddo, I’m having lunch with a friend. I’m gonna come over later today, though, don’t worry.”

“Can we have waffles for dinner? I don’t know if I trust Dad with dinner, Bucky. Yesterday, the cooking alarm went off again when Daddy tried to make me mac and cheese, and—oh, hi Dad.”

There was shuffling on the other end of the line, and Buck heard Eddie sigh. “Christopher, what did I tell you about using the landline without me? Go read your book for a second while I talk to Buck.”

“Okay, Daddy. Bye, Bucky, I’ll see you later today, okay?” Chris said quickly. 

Not for the first time, Buck thanked the universe that he was in Christopher’s life. “I’ll see you later, buddy.”

“Buck. God, I’m so sorry. He probably interrupted your lunch, and—wait. You didn’t text me. You were supposed to text me where you guys were gonna be, Buckley,” Eddie said. “Everything okay?”

Buck tried to ignore the warmth growing at the bottom of his stomach. “Sorry, I meant to, but I forgot. It’s fine, Eddie. We’re at Sandy’s in Huntington Beach. I’ll catch you after, okay? I was gonna drop by the store on my way to pick up stuff for dinner. Is that okay, or should I just get take-out?”

“Take-out is fine, I’m not gonna ask you to cook for us, especially not now, after my son interrupted your…your date.”

“It’s fine, really. Text me if there’s something you want me to add to the list, okay? And for the fuck’s sake, Eddie, don’t go anywhere near the stove, yeah? Don’t want the cooking alarm to go off again.” Buck tried to hide his laugh, but it was no use. Eddie’s smoke detector might as well be a cooking alarm, like Chris called it, because it was guaranteed to go off every time Eddie went near the stove.

“Fuck off, Buckley, I’m locking you out,” Eddie said, but his words didn’t really have any bite to it, not when the fondness seeped out his voice. 

Buck snorted. “Joke’s on you, I’ve got a key.” His gaze landed on Adam, and Buck swallowed. Right. Adam. “Listen, Ed, I gotta go. I’ll see you later, yeah?” 

Eddie was quiet for a moment. “Yeah, Buck. I’ll see you at home,” he said, before the line clicked off. 

Buck pocketed his phone. “Sorry about that. It was from Eddie’s landline, and I wanted to make sure Christopher was okay, you know?” 

Adam waved him off. “Hey, it’s fine, totally okay. Christopher is the one you were talking about earlier, right? Your best friend’s son?”

“Yeah, that’s him. He’s the best kid, and I’m just really lucky, you know?” He pulled out his phone again, scrolling through his Photos app to show Adam. “That’s him and his dad. He’s had a bit of a hard go at things in the last couple of years, but Christopher is the bravest, strongest person I know. His dad, too.”

Adam’s eyes softened. “It sounds like it.” He slid Buck’s phone back to him. “It sounds like they’re very important to you, and from that phone call, it sounds like you’re just as important to them.”

Buck swallowed. “Yeah, they’re. They’re family.” Because they were. Maddie was his sister, and she will always be an important part of Buck’s life, but Chris and Eddie? They were Buck’s family, and there was no limit to what Buck would do for them.

Adam reached out across the table, his hand covering Buck’s gently. “Which is why as attractive and kind and great you are, I’m not going to ask you on a second date.”

Blinking, Buck looked up from their hands. “What? Why not?” 

Adam was sweet. Fun. Wittier than Buck expected, if he was being honest, and his face was to fucking die for. Buck would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the last hour and a half with the guy.

“This whole dating a guy thing is new for me? And I’m still figuring things out. But men or women, I have one firm rule: I don’t date married people, Buck.”

Buck pulled his hand away, like he was burned. “What? I’m not married, what are you—“

“Buck. The way you talk about Chris? About his dad? You might as well be,” Adam said, not unkindly. “You’re great, bud, and I’m probably gonna keep your number, because I’d like to be your friend. But the last ten minutes made me feel like the other woman, dude.”

Buck opened his mouth, but he didn’t really know what to say. He knew, though, that Adam wasn’t wrong. Not exactly, not from his part of it, and he couldn’t really find it in him to argue with the guy. “God, I’m sorry. I really did want to go on a date with you, I promise. And you’ve been great, Adam. Hot as fuck, and smart, and—“

“It’s okay, really,” Adam said, smirking. “I’m used to hanging out with a bunch of emotionally repressed dudes. Being friends with you? Not gonna be new territory for me.”

Laughing, Buck balled up a napkin and threw it at him. “Fuck off, asshole. At least I don’t like the fucking _Mets_.”

***

Buck had meant to go to the store first before heading to Eddie’s, but in the blink of an eye, he was already in Eddie’s driveway. He didn’t know how long he sat in his car for, his heart hammering out of his chest.

He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Eddie. How could he, after what Adam had dropped on him?

Buck wasn’t entirely stupid. He knew that his relationship with Eddie wasn’t standard. Eddie was his best friend, but sometimes they didn’t act like they were just best friends, and the lines often blurred in Buck’s head. 

It was confusing, and scary as all hell, and god, sometimes it just left Buck _wanting_. 

Right now? Buck was so fucking tired of wanting.

He was so tired of wanting and having to hide how much he wanted. _Married_ , Adam said. Jesus fucking Christ.

But the thing was, Buck wanted that. He wanted to be the one to make the cupcakes for Chris’ school bake sales, wanted to be the one to help Chris with his history dioramas and his English homework, wanted to be the one to take him to the planetarium.

And god, _Eddie_.

Buck didn’t even know where to start. Eddie was _everything_. He wanted Eddie, full stop.

Most of the time, he tried to bury the want as deep as he could. Most of the time, if he tried really hard, he could even forget the longing that seemed to have settled permanently in his bones. 

His phone rang, taking him out of his head. “Yeah?” Buck said, sounding wobbly even to him when he picked it up.

“Buck? You okay?”

Eddie. Fuck. Buck closed his eyes. He put Eddie on speaker, his hands shaking as he dropped his phone on his lap. “Yeah,” Buck said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’ve been sitting on my driveway for the last ten minutes.” Eddie sounded amused, but Buck could pick up the tinge of worry in his tone.

Had it really been ten minutes already? 

“You gonna come in?” Eddie asked, when Buck didn’t respond.

“I don’t know,” Buck said honestly. He opened his eyes, huffing out a breath. He didn’t know why he was suddenly paralyzed. It was Eddie’s house. It was fifteen, maybe twenty steps to the door. Buck had been to Eddie’s a billion times before. He had a key, for fuck’s sake, so why did it feel like walking into Eddie’s house was akin to walking straight into a fire?

The house door opened, Eddie stepping out a moment later. He didn’t walk any closer to Buck, though, and Buck was torn between zipping through the yard to stand beside Eddie and keeping his ass planted right here on the driver’s seat of his jeep. 

“Date went well?” Eddie was staring at him, and Buck couldn’t look away.

Buck swallowed. “Yeah. Well, no. But it was fine. I just—I’m probably not gonna see him again.”

“He wasn’t a dick, was he?” There was a sudden hard edge in the way Eddie spoke.

“No, no, not at all. He was great, actually. Smart, funny, hotter in person than the pictures TK sent,” Buck said. He still couldn’t take his eyes away from Eddie. 

Just as well, because Eddie held his gaze firmly. “Oh. Then how come you don’t want to see him again?”

Buck gripped his phone tightly. He didn’t know how to answer that without giving himself away, so instead, he asked, “Eddie, are you—are you gonna see Chris’ teacher again?” 

Which was infinitely fucking worse, of course. God, maybe he needed to take some of his paycheck to buy himself a new brain.

Eddie shook his head. “No. I knew five minutes into it that it wasn’t gonna go anywhere. Fuck, maybe even before that.” Eddie took a breath. “I shouldn’t have gone on that date. I don’t want her, Buck.”

He didn’t look away from Buck, not even once, and fuck. Eddie couldn’t do this to him. Eddie wasn’t allowed to look at him and say all of this and expect Buck to be able to deal with it. Buck didn’t want to let him keep talking, and Buck definitely didn’t want to let the hope blooming out of his chest take hold.

“Buck,” Eddie said gently. “Get out of the car.”

It was Buck’s turn to shake his head. He should probably go. It had been a weird day, and maybe if he just went home, maybe if he went for a run or got a work-out in, things would look clearer later or tomorrow, and Buck would know what to do. He’d find some kind of perspective and clarity and—

“Get out of the car, Buck. Please.”

Eddie sounded _wrecked_ , looked just as wrecked, too, in a way that Buck knew was mirrored on his own face.

“I’m fucking scared, Eddie.” He didn’t mean to say that out loud, but Buck couldn’t really think of anything else to say either.

Eddie hung up, and Buck saw him pocket his phone. For a moment, Buck felt his heart drop. Then, Eddie made his way towards him, like he was on a goddamn mission. 

Buck’s hands felt clammy, his palms sweating against the side of his jeans. The lump in his throat felt heavier, and the air around him suddenly felt thin.

Forget scared; now Buck was _terrified_.

Eddie rapped on the window, kept knocking lightly until Buck mustered up the courage to roll his window down.

“Get out of the car, Buck,” Eddie said quietly. “It’s okay, I promise. I’ve got you.”

Buck exhaled deeply. He could still run, and there was a part of him that wanted to, because what if this all blew in his face?

But Eddie promised him it was going to be okay. And when had Eddie ever broken a promise to him? When had Eddie ever let him down?

Unlocking his door, Buck stepped out of his car. Eddie boxed him in immediately, his bulk pinning Buck against the car. Buck was hyperaware of all the parts of them that were touching. Of Eddie’s thighs pressed against his, of Eddie’s hand steadying his hip, of Eddie’s breath catching over his cheek. 

“I’m glad you’re not seeing him again,” Eddie said gruffly. He cupped Buck’s cheek with his other hand, and it took everything in Buck to not lean fully into his touch.

“Why?” 

Eddie was so close, his lips plump and inviting. He covered the remaining distance between them, and kissed Buck. Buck felt himself go rigid, a brief moment of shock coursing through him, before his body sagged against Eddie. Parting his lips, Buck kissed back, shivering as Eddie tightened his hold on Buck’s hips. 

All of the times Buck allowed himself to dream, to think of what it would be like to kiss Eddie like this—none of them even came close to the reality of having Eddie here, right here, with him.

They had to pull away eventually, Buck needed to catch his breath. Eddie didn’t pull away, though, and his head stayed pressed against Buck’s.

“You belong here with me, and Chris, and now that I know what it’s like to kiss you, I don’t think I can let you go. God, Buck, I thought I was gonna go insane when you were on that date. I thought I’d missed my chance.”

“I never thought you’d ever see me that way,” Buck said. “I thought you were moving on with Chris’ teacher, and I didn’t want to get left behind. It’s the only reason why I agreed to go on that date today.”

“Not leaving you behind. Not now, and not ever.” Eddie kissed him again, gentler this time. “Besides, Chris would never forgive me if I did.”

“Dad? Bucky?”

Speaking of Chris. 

Eddie gave him one last kiss, before pulling away from him. “Yeah, Chris?” 

“I thought we were gonna eat? I’m hungry!” Chris said. He was beaming, his eyes lighting up as he shifted his eyes from his dad to Buck.

Eddie was right. It was going to be okay. They were all going to be okay. Buck poked at Eddie’s chest. “Your son has a bottomless stomach.”

Laughing, Eddie guided him towards the house, towards Chris. “He’s your son now, too. You deal with him.”

**Author's Note:**

> Adam may or may not be based on a real person who may or may not play for a team that sounds like the Anaheim Schmucks. 
> 
> I'm [ariavederci](https://ariavederci.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, too.


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